Shortly after a relationship breakdown, many women ask themselves the following: What is the no contact rule success rate? When will I contact my ex-boyfriend again? There is a lot of advice on when to do that.
Unfortunately, most of the advice is wrong, because it will make you contact your ex-boyfriend again sooner or later. Both scenarios don’t do you any good if you want your ex-boyfriend back. There is little room for error if you want to get it right. In any case, muddling around is not a good idea. The contact you have with your ex-boyfriend and what to say and how to say it plays a very big role in getting your ex-boyfriend back.
How to increase No Contact Rule Success Rate?
Being emotional in your contact with him is a bad idea
Think about it. The hours, days, weeks after the break up of the relationship is an incredibly emotional period. You are both very sensitive to what the other says and does. That’s why you have to think very carefully when the relationship is only over. If you follow your instincts, it can totally ruin your chances.
If you behave in an overly emotional or hysterical way, you can count on your ex-boyfriend to get a very negative image of you. He will continue to see this image for a long time. He will also do everything to avoid seeing you. If he thinks you are unstable, he is less likely to contact you himself. In addition, any communication you have with him will be extremely tense and uncomfortable.
You have to be very careful. After all, you want to encourage him to contact you and not to avoid him. This is the most favorable scenario. If you want him to get in touch, there are some things you shouldn’t do at all. For example, don’t be angry or emotional with him. Don’t start talking about the breakup either. He won’t want to talk about it over and over and he’ll think you don’t accept it. Little things like this keep him from talking to you. That is driving you ever further apart.
The best contact is no contact
It’s the truth. The longer you linger in the relationship, the worse it is for you. If you try to run into him, or call or text him after the breakup, you are only biting yourself. Your ex thinks you’re desperate and you can’t let go. This is very unappealing to him. It won’t make him want you back. Instead, he will be happy that he broke off the relationship with you.
No contact, radio silence, may seem to go against your feelings, because you want to speak to him so very much. You will wonder how you can convince him to come back to you if you don’t even talk to him. The fact is, it is much more important how often you contact than what you say to him. In any case, if the relationship has recently ended.
Communication between you and your ex-boyfriend should drop very quickly after the breakup. It may be difficult for you to deal with that. Yet it is what you ultimately want to achieve. It ensures that you end up in the best possible position to regain his love and desire.
If you’re trying frantically to hold on to the relationship, you’re only making it worse for yourself. It is normal for the contact to stop when you split up. You can’t expect everything to just stay the same just after the break. That just doesn’t make sense. You both need time to adjust to the new situation between you. Keeping in touch would not only be terribly uncomfortable but also confusing and painful.
Let go of the relationship to draw it back to you
Your first step to getting it back is to leave it alone. Once you have accepted the break-up and given him freedom, you have also liberated yourself and paved the way for reunification. If you don’t do this, it will be obvious to your ex-boyfriend that you want him back. It may be some harmless messages, but your intentions are clear. He will, therefore, resist it with all his might.
Every attempt you make to communicate with him ends in failure and disappointment for you. You have to accept that it’s over for now and you have to leave him for a while. This is the very best thing you can do right now. So try to be strict with yourself if you want to contact him.
You have to accept that your previous relationship has ended and that any attempt to keep in touch gives the impression that you are fighting for something that is no longer there. Your ex-boyfriend will not be able to appreciate this. He gets a negative image of you. He’s going to see you as someone obsessed with him. This means that he will not contact you on his own. He doesn’t even want to have anything to do with you because he’s going to be uncomfortable with your behavior.
So if you don’t want him to avoid you, it’s imperative that you come across as an adult and accept that the relationship is over, even if you’re just pretending. It should seem that you have moved on with your life and are dealing with the situation in an adult manner. This becomes very difficult if your ex-boyfriend has lost all interest in you and if he doesn’t pay any attention to what you do. There are ways to subconsciously let him know that you have moved on with your life, without saying that to him in those words. In this article, you will learn how to do that.
You want your ex-boyfriend to see that you are no longer interested in them, even if they are not. You must do what he least expects to provoke a response from him. He expects you to go after him, to have a hard time with the situation, especially if he’s the one who dumped you. If you do the exact opposite, he gets upset. He will then again assess the situation.
If you remain calm and accept the situation, he will become confused and will start to wonder about you. This is a crucial psychological strategy that women have used in the past to get ex-friends back simply because it works. Withdrawing yourself is not only an effective strategy to use against him. It makes him more attracted to you and suddenly he becomes interested again in what you are doing.
The fisherman’s story
Compare it to a fisherman. The fisherman casts his line into the water, away from himself. He then waits patiently. From where he stands, he sees no hook and no bait, but he knows it’s all there. The hook will be the knowing of certain ex-back techniques, your ex-boyfriend will be the fish and you’re the bait.
You cannot see exactly what the fish (your ex-boyfriend) is doing now. He might be enjoying himself further down the river. While you wait patiently, there comes a time when the fish gets hungry. The fish will instinctively know where to go to eat (to you). He catches the bait and the fisherman catches it. He got hooked.
Likewise, you can draw your friend back to you if he starts missing you and is hungry for you. He will let himself hook you again. Try to think of the fisherman’s story when you start to lose patience or if you don’t like it anymore. Some things are worth the wait.
Radio Silence or No Contact Rule. Why does it work to reclaim your ex?
If you break any form of contact with your ex, true radio silence, this is the fastest and most powerful way to rekindle his interest in you right away. The sad thing is that many women are almost unable to do this. Every fiber in their body screams to contact him.
If it fails to reclaim your ex-boyfriend, it is usually because you have not quite adhered to the radio silence phase with your ex. Breaking the No-Contact Rule will only make your ex-boyfriend think things like:
“I am bothered that she keeps calling and texting. It is clear that she does not want to lose me, but what a letdown. Actually it is just pathetic. ”
It is important to understand the psychology of the male brain. If you keep chasing him and are desperate, your ex-boyfriend will quickly lose all respect he had for you or what was left of it. Think about it for a moment. Why was he ever attracted to you? You were probably much more confident and mysterious at the time. Men find this very attractive. They like independent women who know who they are, not emotional wrecks.
If you constantly harass him, this will only lead to him finding you pathetic. If you don’t respect yourself enough to stay away from him, he won’t respect you either. And if he realizes you’re willing to do anything to get him back, push him further away and he’ll get less and less appreciation for you. You have to show him what you are worth and that you are not easy to get. That is critical. Therefore, the period of radio silence, the No-Contact rule, is a powerful strategy as it helps you achieve it.
Radio silence is going to make your ex miss you
Nobody expects you to do this easily. You saw your friend every day and he was a big part of your life. It will, therefore, take a lot of effort to stop communicating with him at all. You have a huge void in your life and you will miss him terribly. If you have this feeling, remember that he probably feels something like that too.
It’s normal for him to still have feelings for you. There is a strong emotional bond between you and you cannot just break and deny it. Even though it may seem that he suddenly broke off the relationship, he expected you would still be there. Maybe as a friend. He probably expected to withdraw gradually. In this way, he gradually got used to the idea that you were no longer there.
Chances are your ex-boyfriend expected you to stay after him or at least take an interest in him. This would give him power over you. He has the advantage because he only has to let go of you completely when he is ready. In his eyes, it is a gradual process, because he knows that you still have a lot of feelings for him.
If he knows exactly where you are (in the waiting room to wait for him) then he has all the time in the world to decide with what kind of woman he wants to continue. If you continue to be part of his life, he knows exactly what you are doing and what you feel for him. And if he knows he can get you back any time he feels like it, he won’t be in a hurry to breathe new life into your relationship.
Realize that this is only possible if you give him what he wants. You can change the whole game of power between you by taking action and withdrawing when he least expects it. Do it the right way and you will notice that he treats you very differently and treats you very differently. This is because your withdrawal caused him to miss you more than he expected. This is what you need to achieve first to win it back. If he doesn’t miss you, he is not interested in a relationship with you.
If you create a huge emptiness in his life, he will long for you again and he will chase you again. By disappearing completely from the picture, you can achieve this and make him miss you. Ultimately, this will speed up the whole process of re-establishing a relationship. The best part is that he is after you and not the other way around!
What radio silence entails
You have to be very strict with yourself. Radio silence, or the No-Contact Rule, means that there should be no contact whatsoever. So in no way. You can only succeed if you stick to it 100%.
So you are not going to call, email, text, or talk to him. Do not drive past his house or try to meet him “by chance”. Then you are obliged to talk to him and you try to avoid that. No exceptions! The better you stick to this, the more likely your ex-boyfriend will suddenly contact you.
If that happens, it is important that you do not participate in his contact attempts. Of course, you don’t do that in a nasty way and you don’t want to say you don’t want to talk to him, you just seem bitter and childish. He will not try to contact you again either, because he thinks you are not open to it.
Instead, take your phone off, turn off your mobile, or not answer its calls. It is better not to answer because in the first case you let his interest peak.
If you’re not where he thinks you are, waiting for him on the other side of the phone, his imagination runs wild. He’s going to wonder what you’re doing and with whom. He’s going to put a spin on it when he realizes you’re too busy to answer his calls. This is very effective and the best thing is that you don’t have to do anything for it!
The same goes for your social media accounts. Don’t go on Facebook as you did before. Don’t give any hints about how you feel in the hope that he sees it. It is best to deactivate your account for a while or try to stay away from it completely. He will only use it to see how you are doing. Don’t give him that pleasure. If you can no longer be seen online, it means that he has to make an effort. If he wants to know how you are doing then he will have to ask you himself.
Another benefit of staying away from Facebook is to avoid becoming paranoid. Instead of recovering and setting up an effective strategy to win him back, you are only reviewing his status several times a day. In the end, you are going to over-analyze them all and find way too much behind them. That is not healthy and it does not allow you to focus on what to do to win it back.
He assumes you can still be seen online after the breakup so he can keep an eye on you. If you disappear, it is very disturbing to him. His head goes crazy and you are mysterious to him again. This is the secret to pulling it back to you, so be mysterious!
If your ex-boyfriend realizes you’re still after him and you’re interested in him, he’s safe. As soon as you do the exact opposite. As soon as you no longer give him the attention he longs for, he suddenly has to consider the possibility that you are no longer interested in him. This is a huge blow to his ego and he will want to do something about it before it is too late.
How long does the radio silence period last?
That is the key question and that is what we are going to talk about now. Even though every breakup is different, there is some general advice when it comes to contacting your ex-boyfriend. You will find a lot of different advice on the internet about when it is best to contact us again. In my experience, it is best to continue for about six weeks to increase the no contact rule success rate.
Six weeks of radio silence may seem like a very long time for you. It will also be very slow at first, but you should keep your goal in mind. You want it back. You will only be able to achieve this if you do not contact him.
Normally it takes about that long to recover from being dumped. All the bitterness and the anger you feel for him now will soon disappear. You will also look at the whole situation much more positively. If you have said things to him that you are ashamed of, they are also far forgotten after these six weeks.
Best of all, your ex-boyfriend will miss you terribly during this time. If he misses you that much, he’s much more likely to try to get in touch with you. Chances are that he will contact you much earlier than the six weeks are over if you do everything right. Even if he doesn’t make the call, you can assume that he’s much more open to you because he hasn’t heard from you for so long.
Another advantage for you is that he will not be so suspicious when you contact him again. The conversations will be much less uncomfortable if he sees that you haven’t tried to convince him to start a relationship with you again.
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How to increase No Contact Rule Success Rate? by Theresa Alice