What to do when he pulls away early in the relationship? You spend a lot of time together and everything runs perfectly from the first moment. You can hardly keep your hands off each other and you fell in love deeply.
You can’t get the smile off your face and are overjoyed for the first time in a long time, or — in other words — in seventh heaven.
You will soon start planning your future together, but in the last few weeks, you have noticed that he is pulling away and it seems like he needs more distance.
Suddenly there is radio silence between you two.
Regardless of whether he is your boyfriend or you are still getting to know each other, it feels like shit and you are probably wondering what you did wrong. The answer is nothing!
There is a ‘master switch’ in the male brain that focuses all a man’s desire on one particular woman…Once you flip this switch in him… It activates a powerful drive that focuses all his sexual and romantic interest onto you… WATCH VIDEO
I want you to know that men, in general, have more attachment anxiety and they are very aware of these kinds of changes in their lives.
Women, on the other hand, tend to see a new acquaintance as something serious earlier than men.
The fact is that men will feel ready for a committed relationship later and they can be put under pressure if they notice that a woman wants them too much and sends out appropriate signals.
If that’s not enough for you and you want to know more about the world of men, stay tuned!
When He Pulls Away Early in The Relationship — What To Do?
Here you will find the most frequent reasons for his withdrawal and 6 little tips on how you can win back his interest.
Why is the withdrawal?
1. Withdrawal is a natural process in dating
If he suddenly pulls back, it could be for several reasons. A psychologist explains that the man’s distancing phase is a natural process in dating.
She claims that a certain amount of withdrawal marks the onset of an important phase in the process of getting to know two people.
If he pulls out in the first phase of getting to know each other or he doesn’t get in touch, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it has anything to do with you.
It may be that he only takes the space to reflect on whether he will neglect his family, friends, or hobbies through the new acquaintance and to decide whether he is ready to embark on a long-term partnership now.
2. He has a personal problem
Maybe he has personal problems right now that he doesn’t want to share with you so as not to burden you.
Besides, men don’t like to talk about their problems because they don’t want to be seen as a wimp and he wants to show that he can take care of his own life.
It is easier for women to speak out and seek advice or help. But men, on the other hand, close themselves off and want to solve the problem themselves.
He may be having a professional or family crisis and is having a hard time talking about it, especially if the two of you have only known each other for a short time.
Because he wants to present himself in the best light and although the problems preoccupy him a lot, he does not like to admit his weakness in order not to appear unattractive and only to withdraw, it seems easier to him.
3. He doesn’t know what he wants!
He’s not sure of his feelings and he doesn’t know what he wants.
It may also be that he pulls out because he believes that the two of you are not for each other and that he is not ready to be in a committed relationship yet.
Or he may have felt that he cannot handle and may be afraid of falling in love and engaging in the relationship.
Actually, men don’t like to deal with feelings and it is easier for them to just turn away instead of openly talking about their feelings and making a decision.
4. It’s going too fast for him
Women want to have certain security in life and therefore look at and plan the future, while men prefer to live in the present.
Make sure you don’t scare him off by talking about your future together that you have already planned.
If you signal to him that you are ready for more, he can get cold feet.
Maybe he wants the same thing but withdraws because he has developed feelings. As strange as it sounds, it can be.
Just enjoy your time together and be patient!
5. He wants to stay single
He likes you so much but is not exactly looking for a partner.
Actually, he’s just looking for someone to have fun with and, unfortunately, you’re just an affair for him.
On the other hand, breaking contact and withdrawing are the best options to deal with the situation and not to admit that he wants to enjoy his freedoms to the full.
6. He’s hurt
Perhaps one of the reasons he withdrew could be that you accidentally hurt him and are unaware of it.
As I said before, men don’t like to talk about problems and feelings and in this way, he wants to show you that something is wrong and that you should react.
7. He’s lost interest.
Is he hiding his feelings or is he just not interested? Hm!
Unfortunately, if he pulls away, it could be that he has lost interest in you and his infatuation is slowly disappearing.
It may be that the attraction between you has been lost, or he may find that it doesn’t fit between you.
He doesn’t want to talk about it so as not to hurt your feelings, so he prefers to withdraw rather than have an honest conversation with you.
8. He has another
Even if it is going to hurt, you need to be willing to consider this possibility. If he distances himself from you, there may be another woman in his life.
If he is only interested in another woman or is already in love with another woman, he instinctively avoids you because he is afraid of hurting your feelings and wants to avoid the conflict.
6 tips for you when he pulls away
1. No stress!
If you think he may have withdrawn because there are things he doesn’t want to talk about, try not to get him to talk about them.
The more you put him under pressure, the more nervous he will be, and the more he will withdraw. So your relationship problems get bigger and bigger.
You sure don’t want that. Although you want to share his worries and feel left out, stay calm, and don’t stress him or herself.
Because he might just want to clear his head and solve his problems himself.
Trust him and give him time, because he’ll definitely know what’s best for him right now. Show him that he doesn’t have to talk to you about it if he doesn’t want to.
If you don’t pressurize him, he’ll start talking about his problems on his own.
If he is ready to share his problems with you, just be there for him as his support, but until then, keep your calm!
2. Reconsider your attitude!
You should rethink your attitude and free yourself from fear of loss.
If you’re still getting to know each other and you notice that he is withdrawing a few weeks later, it may be just a return to his everyday life.
The freshly falling in love phase is always the most interesting: you only have eyes for each other and want to spend every minute in intimate togetherness, but over time he may be able to devote himself to other things, such as his friends or his career.
Or if you are in a relationship and he just wants to have a beer with his friends, for example, or watch a football game in peace and you feel as if he is excluding you and you blame him for that.
This is what is known as the closeness-distance problem and it can create an imbalance in a relationship and the result is that it simply pulls away.
If that’s the case, you may feel somehow forgotten, but think about whether you were just imagining it and just try to observe your relationship neutrally from the outside to get a clear idea of what the relationship should actually be like.
3. Give him space!
Most importantly, you don’t run after him, as this will only reinforce his withdrawal.
You should give him space because his withdrawal phase can have various reasons that do not affect you at all. That’s why you shouldn’t interfere because he also has his right to freedom.
4. Do something for yourself!
You can take the opportunity to focus on yourself. Try to do something for yourself, go shopping, buy a new dress, go to the hairdresser, find a new hobby, start a new sport, or plan a trip.
You’re sure to feel better, and it can also help you take your mind off him.
Also, show him that you don’t get upset about his behavior and make him a little jealous by giving him the cold shoulder.
It would also be good if you didn’t get in touch with him for a few hours or more (for example, ignore his WhatsApp message or just write briefly: I’m going out with my friends) so that he knows that you have a busy life and don’t need it.
This way you can also awaken his hunting instinct and if he is interested in you, he will notice that he misses you and will come back to you.
5. Be there for him!
On the other hand, there can also be moments when he needs you and you should be there for him.
Maybe he made up his mind to talk about his problems, or maybe he just needs a hug.
Keep realizing that his emotional absence has nothing to do with you and that the time he takes for himself is his every right.
There are many ways you can get it to stick to you. For example:
You can offer him your help, comfort, or advice, but without putting any pressure on him.
Just let him know that he has a friend in you and sooner or later he will come to you to share his problems with you.
6. Just ask him!
Patience is one of the most important things in a relationship, but if he’s pulling away from you for too long and you’ve reached the point where you’ve had enough and you’ve lost patience, just ask him what it’s about.
Because only when you know the reason for his behavior can you act correctly.
It would be best to ask him for a private talk in a quiet moment and to make it clear to him that you understand his current phase and his withdrawal.
But it’s also important to make it clear to him that you’ve waited long enough and that you need an answer from him.
If a distancing phase lasts too long, you can get too far apart, and if you find that his withdrawal is becoming dangerous to the relationship, ask him to explain what is causing him concern or problem.
Even if you can’t help him, or he doesn’t want you to help him, it is your right to know where you stand with him.
It may be that his withdrawal was a sign that he wanted to get out of the relationship.
If you feel that he has someone else or wants to break up, but don’t dare to talk to you about it because he is afraid of hurting your feelings, just confront him with it!
Talk to him directly about your suspicions, even if it could be an uncomfortable situation.
He can tell you things you may not want to hear, but it is better for you to know even if it is painful.
But if you may have hurt him and he has withdrawn because of it, approach him too.
Try to find out what you hurt him with and apologize to him and make it all right.
There is a drive called The Infatuation Instinct… And It evolved to channel all a man’s desire onto one particular woman.
According to a paper published in “Archives of Sexual Behavior” in 2014 by a team of researchers lead by Dr. Helen Fischer…
“This passion is involuntary and uncontrollable” And creates an “inability to feel romantic passion for more than one person at a time”…
So not only is he irresistibly drawn to you, but he’s unable to even imagine having feelings for anyone else…
The infatuation instinct works by altering his brain chemistry…WATCH VIDEO
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When He Pulls Away Early in The Relationship — What To Do? by Theresa Alice